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Michael Jerling

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Kitchen Two Step

c1978 by Michael Jerling

From the album Early Jerling



Brush the dandruff from your shoulders
Put the orchid in the fridge
It's time for dancing lessons
With your Mama and your Sis
Push the chairs back
Make little brother leave the room

You can fake it on the fast ones
Hide out in the hall
But if you want to hold her close
And you don't know how to waltz
You learn the one-two, one-two 
Kitchen two step

Now you practiced in your room
In front of the mirror with a broom
In the kitchen you stepped 
On your sister's feet
But it's almost time to leave
If you're lucky possibly
You'll get hit by a truck
When you cross the street

Now your knees are kind of shaky
So use those clammy hands
Loosen up your father's tie
And take it like a man
It's a slow one
Would you like to dance?

Lovely decorations
Paris After Dark
You're lost in her perfume
And the beating of your hearts
Doin' the one-two, one-two
Kitchen two step

Now they call a ladies choice
It's into the bathroom with the boys
And some of you are lightin' up a smoke
Hey  man, what's that noise?
It's Mr. Thompson boys
You men better get back out in the gym

So you're sitting in the corner
Resting your right hip
You've got your arms around her shoulders
You kiss her on the lips
That beats the one-two, one-two
Kitchen two step


Kids are so sophisticated
Today that's what I hear
But you watch ‘em while they ‘re dancing
And one thing becomes quite clear
Throughthe cool hard looks I detect
A little one-two, one-two
Kitchen two step 

Arthur Murray's got nothin' on this cat

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