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Michael Jerling


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c1983 by Michael Jerling

From the album Early Jerling

Will Rogers said
He never met
A man he didn't like
But I'm willing to bet
That he never met you

FDR said
There's nothing to fear
But fear itself
And I know darned well
That he never met you
I see you walking down the street
I turn and walk the other way

Moses led his people 
To the Promised land
But they'd probably
Still be sifting sand
If he ever met you

Jesus said 
Turn the other cheek
He'd have to 
Run into the desert
Stay drunk for a week
If he ever met you
I want to turn my eyes to heaven
Get down on my knees and pray

You want stupid?
I'll give you stupid
Stupid - I'll give you stupid
I wish I never met you

Mae West said
Come up and see me sometime
But I think she'd have
To get a brand new line
If she ever met you

P.T. Barnum said
There's a sucker born
Every minute and he 
Knew your mother well
But he never met you
He'd want to put you on the Midway
Charge the folks a dollar and say


Now you wear leather
Now you wear chains
Now you've got balls
But you've got no brains
Now you're Che Guevara
In your purple pants
You've never been hungry
But you know how to dance
And you don't read Marx
You watch the video
And you look at the pictures
In the Rolling Stone
You've got your party dress
You've got your party hat
You've got your party Jill
You've got your party Jack
And you stick it in your arm
You stick it up your nose
You stick it anywhere
That the sun don't go



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